Medications

As I stated in my previous posts I have been on 6MP (Mercaptourine) and two steroids, Prednisone and Endocort. I have been on steroids a total of three times since finding out that I had Crohns. I ususally end up on the steroids because I have been stressed or not eating the best that I should, it usually happens around the holidays. My doctor wasn't happy with my progress towards remission with having to keep going back on steroids. Although the 6MP worked better than not being on anything at all, it wasn't the best that it could be. I still had issues with my stomach and foods that I couldn't eat and my doctor stressed that food shouldn't be as big of an issue as it was for me. My doctor wanted to put me on a biological drug called Humira. I'm sure that the word biological drug would scare most but after being on a chemo-drug that wasn't what scared me. The way that I would have to administer the drug scared me. 6MP is a pill that I took once a day and both of the steroids were in pill form that I took a couple times a day. Humira however was a injection that I had to give myself. Now since being told I had Crohns I have been stuck with a needle more times that I would like to count. During the initial phase of determining I had Crohns I had lots of bloodwork done. Once I was prescribed the 6MP it was mandated that every few months I get bloodwork done to monitor my red blood cell count. So as you can see I get stuck with a needle a lot. It doesn't hurt me and I don't get queasy but for some reason I just don't like seeing my blood fill up those little vials. It just bothers me. I was very nervous about going on Humira and having to give the injection myself. I was so worried that I would get air in the needle and kill myself, I seriously stressed myself over this and would not let the doctor convince me to do it just yet. He had been suggesting this drug for almost two years now. Something to always remember with doctors is they can't make you do anything you don't want to do, its your body, they can make suggestions but you make the final decision. I just wasn't ready yet.

Well last year I was having a pretty bad time with my stomach again. A combination of stress and not having insurance and not being able to take my meds regularly. I started a new job and made an appointment as soon as I could with my new insurance. Again my doctor brought up Humira. Not only for the benefit of me getting to remission but for financial reasons as well. Humira offers a discount program for people like me whose job security is unstable (lots of layoffs in the past couple years). This time I was ready. I was tired of feeling like crap constantly and not being able to eat, losing weight and the fear of going anywhere there might not be a bathroom. So I told my doctor I was ready and he prescribed me Humira and set up an in-home injection training with a nurse. He sent me home with a welcome kit that included brochures and a practice pen.

First of all the pen didn't look anything like I imagined it, I literally pictured a syringe and a bottle of liquid medicine. The pen looks like what I have heard people call an epi-pen. Once I figure out how to add pictures to the blog I will include one so you can see what I am talking about. The information in the welcome kit was pretty standard to all other brochures I have read about medicines. A list of precautions and side effects and so on. One good thing I did read was that Humira was a class B drug and safer if you're pregnant or want to become pregnant. Not like that is an active thought in our heads right now but good to know. Whereas the 6MP was a class F drug and not considered safe if you are pregnant, although my doctor suggested otherwise when I inquired about it. Next came the in-home injection training with the nurse. She would come to my house and talk about the pen and show me how to use it and give me my first shots, a total of four shots to be exact.

So I think I have expressed the amount of pain I have experienced with having Crohns and do believe I have a pretty high threshold for pain. What happened next I was not prepared for at all! The nurse said she had to inject the pen into my upper thigh, a "fatty" area. The pain was the worst pain I have ever felt in my life! It was so intense and it burned like you wouldn't believe. I instantly welled up with tears and luckily the nurse forgot something in her car and excused herself and I used that moment to openly cry about the pain. When the nurse came back inside I had calmed down but did let her know how much it hurt and that I wasn't sure I was able to give it to myself yet. She did the next shot and the pain was still pretty intense but not as bad. The third one I did myself and messed up and some of the medicine leaked out. I was nervous and in a lot of pain. The last shot I did right but it still hurt a bunch. I called David when the nurse left and cried about how much it hurt and that I didn't really think I could give myself the shots. My next shot was due in two weeks. It was two instead of four but still I was really scared of the pain. Two weeks went by pretty quickly and it was time. I read the directions again and got myself ready. I had read that I could inject it in the thigh OR the stomach, the nurse never mentioned that. I iced up the area real good and got ready to do it. It took me a few moments before I did it, but when I did the pain was much less than in the thigh. I was able to give myself both shots with just a little bit of pain compared to the first time. My stomach was a much better injection site than my thighs.

Giving myself the shots now is like second nature. I still only inject in my stomach and I still ice the area and it just a stings a litte. I received a shot recently at the hospital after a trip to the ER and it hurt worse than when I do it, so I'm pretty proud of myself. I have been giving myself the medicine now for almost eight months. My body responds well to it, better than the 6MP ever did. I have been able to eat things I haven't been able to eat for years or really paid for if I took the risk to eat them. The sweet taste of soda, the delicious crunch of salad, a yummy dinner of hibachi. Oh it was incredible! The only issue now is being able to stay on the medicine regularly due to insurance reasons, but that's another post.